Jokes Galore!

What's the difference between a golf player and a parachuter?
A golf player goes 'Thump! Damn!' while a parachuter goes 'Damn! Thump!'

LOL! :)

Another parachuting joke:
There were two blokes parachuting. At about 600 metres, the first guy opened up his parachute, and as he turned his head around he noticed that the other guy still didn't do so.
'Aren't you gonna open up your parachute?' he asked.
'Not yet,' replied the other guy.
They were 500 metres above the ground when the first guy asked again, 'Are you gonna open it now?'
'Nope.'
400 metres, 'Now?'
'Nope.'
300 metres...
200 metres...
100 metres...
'Gee whiz,' the first bloke sighed as he prepared for landing. When they were only 1 metre above the ground, he asked again, 'How about now?'
'Oh,' said the other one, 'I can jump from here.'

!@#$%^&*~...

A farmer was going on and on and on about how much land he had on his farm. 'You see, it would take at least two days for me to drive around it!'
One of his guests replied sympathetically, 'I completely understand how you feel,' he said, 'I used to have such a slow car as well.'

:P

A woman was driving down the road to the Gold Coast for Movie World.
There was a sign by the highway that said 'MOVIE WORLD LEFT'.
So she turned her car around and drove back to Brisbane.

^_^

At the local community school, the lost-and-found centre.
'Hey, did you find a lunch box?'
'Here's all the lunchboxes we have. Hmm, let's see... this one's little Benny's, this one must belong to that big fat prefect...'
'Hey, do you know who I am, lil' junior?'
'Nope.'
'The so-called big fat prefect.'
'Well, d'ya know who I am?'
'Nope.'
'Well, that's a relief.'

ROFL

In biology class, the relief teacher was giving the students a test. As the teacher on leave had instructed, she had a bird in a covered cage with only its legs showing, and the students' challenge was to decipher the species of the bird by that feature. One of them had spent all his time on his PS2 that he was forgetting about studying completely, and had no idea, so he handed up his test blank.
The bell rang, and just as the student was about to leave, the teacher noticed that his sheet was blank. 'Hey,' she called, 'Who is this one who didn't do any studying?'
Everyone was staring at him - they all knew that it must have been him.
'You,' snapped the teacher, 'What is your name?'
The student sat down on the floor, rolled his pants up to show his legs, and shouted angrily, 'Guess!'

LMAO

Why is the person sitting there eating breakfast a serial killer?
Killin' all the cornflakes, man!

xD

More jokes? Put 'em in your comments!